


A Study in Multimedia, Theatre and the Definitive Argument that Tea Should Not be in Bag.

by iLoveSourWorms



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Drug Addiction, Eating Disorders, M/M, Manipulative Dumbledore, Multimedia, Recovery, Sirius Needs a Hug, Texting, Theatre, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5307944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iLoveSourWorms/pseuds/iLoveSourWorms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sirius is a theatre actor, Remus has the misfortune of being an amateur play critic (but is really just a tumblr geek), James and Lily fall in love and Peter just tries to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Othello

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks for reading. Basically, this is a multimedia story, and essentially it will involve no regular storytelling aspects, apart from dialogue. Most of the story will be told through a series of texts, blog posts and the occasional dialogue, which will be when the characters interact over the phone.  
> There may occasionally be journal entries as well as twitter posts, facebook posts, and the occasional tumblr thing.  
> Each chapter will focus on one play that Sirius is in and that Remus has reviewed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks for reading. Basically, this is a multimedia story, and essentially it will involve no regular storytelling aspects, apart from dialogue. Most of the story will be told through a series of texts, blog posts and the occasional dialogue, which will be when the characters interact over the phone.   
> There may occasionally be journal entries as well as twitter posts, facebook posts, and the occasional tumblr thing.   
> Each chapter will focus on one play that Sirius is in and that Remus has reviewed.
> 
> By the way, in phone conversations:  
> James is italics.  
> Sirius is normal.  
> Remus is bold.  
> Peter is underlined.

* * *

 

 **A Study in the Art of Shakespeare;**  
  
_By Remus Lupin_

_24/11/2014_

[http://www.Moonysblog@tumblr/128a65?YM/ASinAoS](http://www.Moonysblog@tumblr.com/128765?Ywa/ASinAoS)

 

In concise acknowledgement of the tragic nature of Shakespeare's  _Othello,_  
the all star cast perform with exceptional realism and present the devastating  
entirety of the events of the play with such precision and emotion that the  
viewer cannot help but be enthralled with the carefully woven tale. I thoroughly  
enjoyed James Potter's take on Cassio, and I wholeheartedly believe it was not  
only the best imagination of Shakespeare's character that I've ever seen, but  
also Mr Potter's best role to date. 

Despite the overwhelmingly magnificent show that I had the pleasure of viewing  
earlier this evening, I could not help but be disappointed by the lead role's  
performance. Sirius Black, - three time winner of the What'sOnStage best actor  
award, as well as a two time, back to back winner of the Ian Charleson Award  
\- who I'm told is the most renowned young actor in British theatre, simply fell  
far beneath the mark with tonight's show. His acting proved to be lacklustre,  
and lines were delivered with the impression that he was either bored or distracted. 

Overall, the performance of the majority of the cast, as well as the delivery and  
presentation of the entire play, was a thoroughly engaging and enjoyable experiene  
for the audience; my only qualms being the famed Sirius Black's performance leaving  
much to be desired, therefore I award the play ☻☻☻☻/☺. 

Until next time, 

Remus Lupin.

 

* * *

**Comments**

* * *

**|Anonymous** _24/11_  
I agree with you, Black's performance was shit. That Potter  
lad was pretty great tho.

 **|Moony** _24/11_  
       I wouldn't refer to it as 'shit', it was still infinitely more  
       impressive then Severus Snape's take on Othello last  
       Autumn, it was simply mediocre in comparison  
       to what I was expecting. Thanks for commenting.

* * *

 **|Padfoot'sPisspoorPorridge** _26/11  
_ What was so bad about Sirius' performance, Remus?

        **|Moony** _26/11_    
       As I've already stated, personally I didn't think his  
       performance was as good as it could've been. This  
       was the first time I'd ever seen him on stage live,  
       and compared to what I've heard from other critics  
       and reviewers, it was lacking substantially.  

 **|Padfoot'sPisspoorPorridge** _26/11_  
Perhaps there was a reason for his 'dissatisfying'  
performance, or maybe you just have a stick up your arse.

        **|Moony** _26/11_  
       I apologise for you feeling that way, although I don't  
       see any reason to defend the man, I already said I  
       enjoyed the play, which I did, I simply found Sirius'  
       performance to be underwhelming, I'm sorry you don't  
       agree.

 **|Padfoot'sPisspoorPorridge** _26/11_  
Whatever. By the way you spelt 'experience' wrong. You  
forgot the 'c', perhaps someone who writes for a living  
should work to employ the correct spelling.

* * *

 **Leave a Comment**  
Name:  
Comment:

* * *

   
**SIRIUS calling**

_Hello?_

Hey James.

_You sound... quiet?_

Yeah.

_Just yeah?_

My dad died.

_Oh fuck._

Yeah.

_Are you okay?_

Not really.

_When did it happen?_

Two days ago.

_Shit! Sirius, is that why you were... um..._

Why I fucking sucked on Tuesday night?

_...Yeah._

I don't know... I guess.

_Do you want to go get pissed?_

You always know what to say.

_Leaky Cauldron? Around 8?_

See you then mate.

**call ENDED**

* * *

** **

* * *

 

**PRONGS calling**

Wotcher Prongs!

_Why didn't you tell me you bloody prat!_

Tell you what good mate?

_You bloody well know what you little bastard!_

I can't say I do. 

_Sirius._

James.

_Sirius!_

Oh shut up you nancy, people will think we're having it off over the phone if you keep up calling my name like that!

_I'm a nancy? Do you not see the irony in you calling me a nancy?_

Shut your trap, idiot.

_Anyway, why didn't you tell me?_

I don't know, I guess I didn't think it was important.

_Not important? God you can be a twit._

Okay fine you bloody girl's blouse, I got the part.

_I know. I just wanted to know if you'd tell me._

I don't see why I had to.

_I would've found out anyway._

You're just an impatient bugger, I was going to make you wait. The official announcement is on Tuesday.

_You know I wanted to know if you got it though you idiot._

Hence why I was going to make you wait.

_Arse._

Dick.

_Twat._

Cocksucker.

_That's you mate._

Oh shut up.

_You have to admit I got you there, oh hang on a mo, Pete wants to say Hi._

Hey Padfoot! Congrats mate.

Thanks mate.

Love what you did with James' icon by the way, saw it this afternoon.

Yeah don't tell though, he'll have a bitch like the little girl he is.

O'course!

Bye Pete!

Bye mate.

_Ignore him mate, he's a bit sloshed._

No worries, night Prongs.

_Night Padf- What was that Pete? What about my icon?_

G'night!

 

* * *

** **

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading chapter one! It was so much fun to put everything together, and it was good to have a break from all of the other projects I'm working on. If there is any other form of media you want to see me utilise, let me know!


	2. The Convict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is cast in Albus Dumbledore's Newest Play, 'The Convict' which is set between 1981 and 1993, the story portrays the struggles of a man wrongfully imprisoned for the death of his two closest friends. The role takes its strain on Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for coming back for my next instalment in this story, and to newcomers, welcome! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think!  
> Really quick, just a short trigger warning for mentions of eating disorders, past drug use and nasty, lying reporters. I've also upped the rating to mature because I feel some of the subjects discussed were too 'heavy' to be left in teen.  
> Once again, on the phone:  
> James is italics.  
> Sirius is normal.  
> Remus is bold.  
> Peter is underlined.
> 
> Also, Dumbledore is both italics and bold.  
> And Lily is underlined and bold

**A. DUMBLEDORE calling**

Hello?

**_Hello, dear boy!_ **

Good evening. Is there something I can do for you?

_**Ah, yes, of course! I was simply reading over the script, and I dislike the name Azkabanaban for the prison.** _

O...kay?

_**Perhaps you'd have a better suggestion?** _

Maybe the extra 'aban' is a little too much.

_**Perhaps you're right.** _

Perhaps.

_**So, that would make it, uhm. Hmm, you see-** _

Azkaban?

_**That's right, Sirius. I like that a great deal better. There's also something else I wished to discuss with you.** _

What is it?

_**Well, my head costume designer and aesthetic coordinator, you see, she's rather brilliant, mentioned to me earlier that the likelihood of a prisoner of twelve years being in the physical shape you're in is very unlikely, and she suggested that we have you lose a fair amount of weight.** _

That.. should be fine, ah, how much weight are you wanting me to lose?

_**Well, Minerva and I - she's the costume designer, absolute miracle worker, she can transform anything- ah right, where was I? That's it, well, we were thinking...** _

Yes?

_**Perhaps get you down to around 8 stone, maybe 8 stone 10?** _

You want me to lose four stone!?

_**Well, maybe three and a half, but basically, yes.** _

The show starts in four months! Albus, you can't expect me to lose four stone in four months without starving myself!

_**Show-business has never been easy, Sirius.** _

Can we make a deal at 9 stone 10?

_**I'm afraid I'd prefer it to be no more than 8 stone 10, Sirius. My decision is final, after all, you do want it to be authentic, do you not?** _

Fine. But I need to consult my doctor first, and my personal trainer. 

_**Remember Sirius, you have talent, a lot of it, but I require dedication and from all of my cast, especially those playing lead roles. I must have your word you'll commit yourself to this.** _

Okay, okay. You're right.

**_Don't forget, first rehearsal tomorrow at 6pm._ **

I'll see you then, goodbye Albus.

**call ENDED**

* * *

 

" _I had a call from Dumbeledore today._ _He wants me to lose four stone for the fucking play. I don't think I can do that._ _It's been years since I've struggled with my problem, yet I'm not too keen on purposely losing so much weight in such a short amount of time. I need James._

_I've been thinking about the past a lot lately, mistakes I've made and people I've hurt. I want to call Reg, I just want to talk to him and hear his voice. But it's too late. My fault really. Sometimes I even find myself considering calling the old hag, but I change my mind all the time._

_I'm so mad at my brother still, is that wrong? Like you're going to fucking know. Who am I even talking to? Journals are stupid."_

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

  **Sirius Black Back in** **Rehab!**  
  
_An entirely truthful and shocking exposé by Rita Skeeter; 10/12/14 6:31pm_

Yes, it's true! Sirius Black (scrumptious bad boy actor, and sole heir to the House of Black) is back in rehab after four and a half years. The young man was arrested last night in a gay bar ( _gasp!_ ) in London with approximately $100 worth of cocaine as well as a small number of ecstasy pills. He was taken in to the station and was kept there for around eight hours before being transported to St Mungo's Private Hospital which houses a Rehabilitation Clinic. 

Sirius' close friend, Peter Pettigrew was seen entering the hospital this morning around 10:30am, and remained there for approximately two hours. An anonymous source who is acquainted with Sirius tells me it's not the first time he's slipped back into his old habit, and confirms that only last month he was caught snorting a specific white substance in the bathroom of his hotel lobby. 

We all hope that Sirius can move on from his addictions, (which are affecting him so greatly and causing him to turn to homosexuality!) and gets the help he deserves in order to recover from this tragic event.

Mr Orion and Mrs Walburga Black are yet to comment on their son's relapse into addiction.

* * *

**Comments**

* * *

 

 **|Moony** 10/12  
 I don't know where you got your information from, it doesn't  
 sound right.

        **|Rita Skeeter** 10/12  
        Well you obviously don't know anything about what  
        happened so keep your opinions to yourself

  **|Moony** 10/12  
  I understand your right as a reporter to keep your sources  
  private, but it's general knowledge that this wouldn't be the first  
  time you've invented a source in order to satisfy and add to your  
  'report'. If you don't have an actual story to report, refrain from  
  posting juvenile slander in an attempt to gain some more traffic  
  on your website.

 

* * *

  **Leave a Comment**  
Name:  
Comment:

* * *

 

**SIRIUS calling**

_'Lo?_

I'm going to fucking kill her!

_Who? What happened?_

Fucking Rita Skeeter!

_That dodge pap? What'd she do?_

Last night I was in a fucking gay club and I ordered some drink with strawberries in it-

_Why'd you do that for, you stupid git!?_

I obviously didn't know about the strawberries, did I?

_So I imagine you had an allergic reaction?_

No, it's a miracle actually. I'm completely fine and nothing happened.

_Then why are you mad at Skeet-_

Of course I had an allergic reaction, James!

_Oh, right. On with it then!_

Because I pretty much realised what was happening straight away I immediately contacted the first person I could get a hold of.

_Which was who?_

Frank. He was on duty right outside the club.

_Longbottom? Why was he outside the club?_

Fucked if I knew, saw him on the way in, just sitting in his car with his uniform on.

_So then what happened?_

Well he drove me to hospital, I had hives all over me and I started vomiting, the usual.

_Sorry, but was does Skeeter have to do with this?_

She must've somehow caught wind of it, because next thing I know there's reports of me being caught with cocaine and ecstasy in the club and apparently being dropped in rehab at Mungo's!

_...Where the fuck did she get that from?_

How the fuck am I supposed to know!?

_... You didn't? You... weren't?_

Are you actually fucking asking me if I had drugs on me right now, James?

_Well I'm just worried, Sirius. I remember what you were like when you were using-_

You KNOW I haven't touched anything in years, James. Not since what happened.

_Okay, okay. You're right. I'm sorry._

It's alright, just... please believe me when I say I'll never go near that shite again.

_I believe you._

Thank you.

_It's alright._

I'm going to go, I need to call Pete and arrange a statement.

_Alright mate, just give me a call if you need me, yeah?_

Yeah, Prongs. I will.

**call ENDED**

* * *

 

**Calling Out Slandering Reporters**

_By Remus Lupin_

_10/12/14_

[http://www.Moonysblog@tumblr/128a65?YM/ASinAoS](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5307944/chapters/12255002)

 

Just a quick blog entry from me tonight. I want to call out _all_ reporters who  
lie and spread false accusations about people for no reason other than to  
garner a sliver of internet fame. It's happened hundreds, if not thousands  
of times before, and the latest victim of the harsh and completely unfounded  
slander is the one and only Sirius Black.

Tonight, at approximately 6:30pm, a reporter by the name of Rita Skeeter   
(who, might I remind you, is internationally renowned for being a lying and  
deceptive reporter who frequently invents sources and makes up ridiculous  
lies about celebrities in an attempt to up her view count on her blog.)

In the latest 'scandal', Sirius Black was supposedly caught in a gay club with   
over $100 of cocaine, and was apparently arrested immediately before being  
carted off to rehab. I can personally vouch for Mr Black, because at the time  
when all of the supposed events took place, I was in attendance at the same  
venue, and saw most of what occurred. 

At approximately 11:30pm, on the the 9th of December, I was sitting by the  
bar in a club located in Diagon Alley, when I noticed Mr Black ordering a drink.  
It was a pinkish colour, and I believe it was a fruity concoction of some form.

Almost immediately after drinking it, Mr Black had began to act strangely,   
and the skin around his eyes had begun to swell slightly shut. At the time  
I did not realise, but I've now deduced that Mr Black was suffering from some  
form of an allergic reaction. 

From the bar, Mr Black exited the club and ended up where I know not.  
Over the whole time I was at the club, I never once saw any policemen, nor a  
particular actor -or anyone, coming to think of it- being arrested. 

Until next time.

Yours faithfully,

Moony.

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Sirius Black Theatre Workshop Overall Success**

_UK Theatre News _21/12/2014  
__ __4:14pm_ _

 

Yesterday, Sirius Black hosted his much talked about free theatre acting workshop in Hyde Park. The day went from 10am to 4pm and there was a turnout of over 40 people, between the ages of nine and 25. The experienced actor separated those in attendance into eight separate groups of mixed ages and genders, his reasoning being 'that in theatre, or any type of acting career, you will work with a multitude of people from all different backgrounds.'

He then set the groups up with a number of different acting games as a warm-up, and after this had them deliver monologues in their groups whilst he watched and gave feedback. At 1pm, he called for a half hour lunch break, and a barbecue was provided for everyone there, including parents of the younger children and teenagers.

After the lunch break, where Sirius introduced himself to many of the parents, he sat down the eight separate groups and introduced them to his close friend and fellow actor - James Potter.

Mr Potter proceeded to detail to the aspiring actors the several different small theatres and acting groups that they could join and attend to help hone their skills, and handed out a small 'gift bag' full of pamphlets and flyers. Inside of the gift bag were also free tickets to the upcoming play at the amateur _Hogwarts_  theatre, where James Potter himself would be starring in their adaptation of Robin Hood.

Finally, Sirius rejoined his comrade, and they moved onto the final activity of the day, which was acting out a scene from an actual play in their individual groups. Combining a number of the activities that they'd participated in during the day (such as a memory game, and method acting), the star students were given lines from famous plays - including those from Oscar Wilde and Shakespeare, just to name a few! - and asked to act out to scene in front of the other groups as well as their instructors, each piece going for no longer than 10 minutes. 

Overall, the day proved to be a success, and the children, teenagers (even the few young adults!) all left feeling happy with the turnout. Mr Black and Mr Potter once again prove themselves to be charitable and kind young men, yesterday's event being the tenth such workshop that they'd hosted in the past five years.

See Sirius Black and James Potter next in their small, intimate, one-night-only show at the Rose Hall in London on the 23rd of February. The show marks the fourth year anniversary of the establishment of their anti-drug and homeless-help campaign, 'For the Youths', which over the years has raised over 3 million pounds, rescued a multitude of struggling young addicts and helped to house more than five-thousand homeless youths. All profits made from the show are being put towards more resources and charity work to do with their program.

To see photos and videos from yesterday's event, head to our gallery from either the drop menu or the home page!

 

Thanks for reading,

The UK Theatre News Team.

* * *

* * *

 

 

* * *

**Sirius Black Seen Walking His New Puppy With James Potter**

_UK Theatre News _28/12/2014  
__ _2:39pm_

Sirius Black was seen earlier today walking through the streets of London with what seemed to be a new addition to the family! As we are now aware, the dog, named 'Padfoot', is an Irish Wolfhound who Mr Black's close friend, James Potter gifted to him only three days ago for Christmas. The duo were all smiles today, and seemed to be enjoying their stroll through the cold city. Sirius and James were both sporting heavy winter coats, and Padfoot had a puppy jacket and booties to keep him warm!

We hope to see more from Sirius and Padfoot soon, the adorable pair warming our (and we're sure yours as well!) hearts on this cold, winter afternoon!

To see photos of Sirius and his new puppy, head to our gallery from either the drop menu or the home page!

 

Thanks for reading,

The UK Theatre News Team.

* * *

**NEW MAIL (1)**

 

 **DATE:** _15/01/15_

 **FROM:** _Dr Flitwick_

 **SUBJECT:** _Latest results of weight loss and diet._

 **BODY:** _Good afternoon, Sirius. After our appointment yesterday, I've had time to evaluate your overall weight loss so far in accordance with your dieting regime as well as you workout routine. I know you may not like to hear this, Sirius, but you have lost 6.7 kilograms in little over one month, and although it may be a requirement for your latest role, I would not suggest losing any more so quickly._

_Given your history, it is a difficult situation to manage, but I believe if we increase your calorie intake, leave your workouts as they are and give yourself an extra two months to lose the weight, then you should be able to do so in a healthy way that won't cause your body too much stress._

_Thank you, and I will see you in a fortnight._

_Regards,_

_Filius Flitwick_

* * *

_ _

 

" _Had another doctors appointment today. Apparently, I've lost just over one stone, and he doesn't think it's 'healthy'. Well no fucking duh, doc. I tried calling Albus about it, but he just guilt tripped me again; "It's the role of a lifetime, Sirius. Surely a little damage to your physique is worth it?_

_I nearly contacted Tom yesterday, but kicked myself when I realised what I was doing. I don't know what made me want to do it, probably all the stress. "_

* * *

**NEW MAIL (1)**

 

 **DATE:** _15/02/15_

 **FROM:** _Dr Flitwick_

 **SUBJECT:**   _Weight loss._

 **BODY:**   _Good afternoon, Sirius. It has come to my attention that you've not booked any more appointments with me since our last appointment on the 02/02/15. At that date, you have lost another 4.2 kilograms. Seeing as this was almost two weeks ago, I can only imagine you've lost even more weight, completely disregarding my advice given prior. I'd like for you to come in and see me in the next couple of days, so to allow myself to evaluate your current health, both physically and mentally._

_Please contact my assistant, Alice, either personally or through the office, I believe you already have both of the numbers, so I will allow you to contact her in your own time, but please consider, sooner rather than later would be the best._

_Thank you, and I will see you before next Tuesday._

_Regards,_

_Filius Flitwick_

* * *

 

* * *

**Sirius Black In Hospital; Source Confirms Dramatic Weight Loss at Fault**

_UK Theatre News 16 _/02/2015  
__ _3:34pm_

 

More shocking news for Sirius Black today, who was rushed to St Mungo's Private Hospital around 11am this morning after collapsing during his morning jog. The famous theatre actor was just passing Waterloo Bridge when 'he began to look faint, and grabbed onto [a] pole for support, but his eyes started rolling back into his head and he passed out.' A source at the hospital confirms that Mr Black has recently undergone a dramatic weight loss, and has been hiding it from the public by wearing oversized, baggy clothes. This news comes as a surprise to fans, who previously thought the young actor was in great health, however, the source admits to Sirius having lost well over 16 kilograms, (getting rather close to three stone!) and such a dramatic weight loss is not healthy for someone who was already at a suitable weight.

 There is speculation amongst fans as to the reason for the weight loss, as the actor has remained at a constant and healthy weight since 2011. Fans are also worried about Black's seemingly deteriorating physical and mental health, especially after allegations of his relapse into substance abuse. The most likely cause for the changes Mr Black has undergone recently, as cited by a source in Albus Dumbledore's newest production confirms that Mr Black has been asked by Dumbeldore himself to lose the weight in order to portray the malnourished and mistreated protagonist of his newest play,  _The Convict._

 

Thanks for reading,

The UK Theatre News Team.

* * *

**LILS calling**

Hey Lils.

**Hello, Sirius.**

How are you?

**Really? You're in hospital and you're asking me how I am?**

...I- 

**No, Sirius. I'm coming to visit you, don't try and talk me out of it. I haven't talked you in more than a month. I miss you.**

When are you coming?

**When are visiting hours?**

Whenever, it's a private hospital.

**Well I'll be there in an hour.**

Lily, you really don't ha-

**You shut your mouth, Sirius Black. Tell that idiot Potter to come over as well, I miss the git almost as much as you.**

Ha.

**Don't you bloody tell him I told you that.**

Too late, he's right next to me.

**Wonderful.**

His eyes are going all heart shaped.

**Of course.**

I miss you to, you know.

**Well you should've called me you daft bugger.**

I know.

**Well, that's all over now, anyway. I'm back, and I'm staying.**

I'm glad.

**Me too.**

I'll see you soon?

**G'bye, love.**

Bye.

**call ENDED**

* * *

**LILY calling**

**Hello?**

**Morning, Remus.**

**Good Morning, Lily.**

**So, how are you?**

**I'm fine, how are you?**

**I'm also fine.**

**Right... Was there a reason for this call, or did you just want to ask if I'm fine.**

**No, I just wanted someone to talk to.**

**About what?**

**Do you remember my friends who I told you about? I went to school with them?**

**You mean Mary and the others?**

**No, the boys. James, Peter... Sirius?**

**Right, what about them?**

**Well I went to visit them yesterday, James and Sirius. And well, despite the fact that they're two of the most insufferable people I've ever met, they're good people, you know?**

**Okay, are they all right? Is that what you called about?**

**No, it's Sirius, he's... sick.**

**Wait, when you say Sirius, you don't mean Black do you?**

**How many other Sirius' have you heard of?**

**Why the bloody hell did you not tell me you were friends with Sirius Black?**

**Does it matter?**

**Yes!**

**Why?**

**Because! It does!**

**But why!? It's not like you know him!**

**Yes but that isn't the point! I reviewed his last performance, and I basically said it sucked!**

**Yes, well... it did, he even said so.**

**Oh God, he probably read it, and thought I was such a twat! This is your fault!**

**My fault!? Piss off! I didn't put those words in your mouth!**

**Well!? I- You.. Nghhnhhh.**

**...What?**

**I don't know, sorry. Before I started on, what were you saying about Sirius? He's... sick?**

**I don't know if I should tell you now, you'll probably blame it on yourself somehow, bloody drama queen.**

**Lily, it's fine you can tell me wha-**

**Your almost as bad as a puppy.**

**What's wrong. I'm no-**

**His puppy, in fact. See, Remus? You're almost as bad as Padfoot.**

**Not going to judge- Did you just say Padfoot?**

**Yes...? That's his puppy. The git named it after himself.**

**Oh my god!**

**What?**

**I told you he bloody well saw it!**

**Saw what? Your blog?**

**My _review_ , it isn't just a blog.**

**Right, whatever. How do you know he saw it?**

**Because! One of the commenter's, his name was something- it had Padfoot in it!**

**What was the name?**

**It was.. Ugh, give me a minute, I'll check it really quick.**

**Fine. Hurry up though I have to go soon.**

**Ugh you're taking forever.**

**Sorry, I'm looking.**

**REMUSSSSSSSS**

**There it is, Padfoot'sPisspoorPorridge.**

**Oh.**

**What?**

**Yeah, that's him.**

**Are you sure?**

**Yeah, it was a joke from sixth year at school.**

**O...kay?**

**Yeah, oh shite. I need to go.**

**Oh, are you sure? You never ended up tell-**

**I'll call you later and tell you, I need to go. Bye!**

**B-**

**call ENDED**

* * *

* * *

 

**NEW MAIL (1)**

 

 **DATE:** _18/02/15_

 **FROM:** _Teaandbiscuits@gmail.com  
_

**SUBJECT:**   _I don't know...  
_

**BODY:** _I'm going to open an instant messenger thread so we can talk, it's easier than having to send emails._

 

**NEW INSTANT MESSAGE (1)**

**OPEN THREAD?**

**THREAD OPENED**

 

**(18:04) Hello, dear.**

(18:04) Hello?

**(18:04) Does that insult you? Sorry.**

(18:05) No, I suppose it doesn't.

**(18:05) What are you doing, anyways?**

(18:06) Not all that much to be honest, sitting here, eating.

**(18:07) That sounds incredibly dull.**

(18:07) You have no idea.

**(18:07) Are you doing anything else productive?**

(18:08) What do you thnik?

(18:08) Think*

**(18:08) I have no idea, hence why I asked.**

(18:08) Well no, I'm not doing anything productive.

(18:08) Did you actually want something?

**(18:11) Did I want something? You're the one who told me to email you.**

(18:11) No I didn't, you told me to expect an email off you.

**(18:13) That isn't what happened at all.**

**(18:15) You are Lily, aren't you?**

(18:15) I thought you were Lily?

(18:15) Who is this?

**(18:16) Who are you?**

(18:16) I asked first.

**(18:16) I'm Remus, who are you?**

(18:18) Lupin?

**(18:18) So you know who I am.**

(18:18) I've never met you, but I've definitely heard of you.

**(18:19) Oh my GOD.**

**(18:19) IT ALL MAKES SENSE.**

(18:19) Wat?

(18:19) What*

**(18:19) STARSHINE**

**(18:20) How did I not gather**

(18:20) How did you get my email? Are you stalking me?

**(18:20) _attachment sent, Open attachment?_**

(18:21) If this is a photo of your dick I swear to god.

**(18:21) It's not.**

_Opening attachment..._ **  
**

**(18:22) She set us up...**

(18:22) For what purpose?

(18:22) Oh that conniving little  _bitch._

(18:23) _attachment sent. Open attachment?_

_**Opening attachment...** _

  _  
_

(18:24) She thinks I'm lonely. 

**(18:24) Are you?**

(18:25) That's beside the point. 

**(18:25) What _is_ the bloody point? **

(18:25) THE BLOODY POINT IS THAT THE SCHEMING BINT SHOULD MIND HER OWN BUSINESS. 

(18:26) And even if I am bloody lonely - which I'm not - why on earth would I want to talk to you!

**(18:26) If you're so adamant that you aren't lonely, and you don't want to talk to me, then I'll go.**

**(18:26) Sorry for wasting your time.**

_Teaandbiscuits exited thread._

(18:26) I'm sorry.

_Message failed to send. Retry?_

__Message failed to send. Retry?_ _

_Message failed to send. Retry?_

_Starshine closed thread._

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you all enjoyed it, and any and all reviews, comments, criticisms and whatever else can be left below. Thanks again everyone! :)


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